Most Colourful Insults of the Dunmer

Many who have traveled through Morrowind have come across the most common insults of the Dunmer. The words fetcher, n’wah, and s’wit roll often off Dunmer tongues, but they have many more colorful insults to sling. This is a collection of some of the best ever heard while traveling through the region.

I knew I recognized your face from somewhere. I saw something like it while washing the hindquarters of a guar.

Either your mother was an Orc, or one has smashed in your face.

With a face like that you should be safe in the wilderness. It would terrify even a pack of wild nix-hounds.

You’d best take a guild guide to the next town. With a smell like that, a siltstrider wouldn’t carry you on its back.

Your mother must have had an affair with an Orc. It’s the only way to explain the depths of your stupidity.

I may be drunk on Mazte, but tomorrow I’ll be sober and you’ll still be stupid.

You gas on like a speared netch.

I’ve met cliffracers that have annoyed me less.

A slave has better manners than you.

Why don’t you go home to your wife? Better yet, I’ll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won’t notice any difference.

I’d sleep with you, but there’s not enough sujamma in the world.

I may have slept with every man in the village, but for you I’ll make an exception.

Tear out all the pages of Boethiah’s Pillow Book; that’s what he was like in bed.

You’re of so little importance you couldn’t even buy a writ of execution for yourself.

We can only hope he gains enough rank to warrant an assassination.

I see you’re a master of quotation. Memorizing the Book of Riddles is a great substitution for wit.

Your idiocy would test the patience of Vehk himself.

Text by Sarah Dimento (a.k.a. Stuporstar)